Author Caroline Smailes publishes her new novel today.Β 99 Reasons WhyΒ is a book with a difference. It is only being published as an ebook and comes with 9 different endings which readers can navigate using multiple choice questions on their Kindle or via a spinning story wheel on their iPad or iPhone. There are also two additional endings. One will be handwritten by Caroline and auctioned for charity, the other is being shared here for you to read…
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99: the reason why I was only worth ninety-nine quid
Itβs been six days since the little girl in the pink coat went missing and me Uncle Philβs in me bedroom.
Weβve been watching the little girl in the pink coatβs mam on the news. She was appealing to the public for witnesses.
βDidnβt realise she had a mam,β I says, looking at me telly.
βEveryoneβs got a mam, pet,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βShe sold her story to The Sun,β I says, looking at me telly.
βGot a few quid,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
I nod.
βShe wanted nowt to do with that bairn before all this,β me Uncle Phil says, looking at me telly.
βDo you know where she is?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
βBelle?β me Uncle Phil asks me.
I nod.
βSheβs safe,β me Uncle Phil says to me. βYour mamβs keeping an eye on her.β
βCan I be her mam?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
βNo, pet, youβre a filthy whore,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
I nod.
βCan you make Andy Douglas come back, Uncle Phil?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
Me Uncle Phil shakes his head.
βI love him,β I tell me Uncle Phil.
βAndy Douglas is your brother, pet. You didnβt seriously think Princess Di was your mam, did you?β me Uncle Phil asks me.
I nod.
βYouβre a cradle snatcher just like your mam,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
I nod.
βYour mam miscarried when she found out Iβd been banging Betty Douglas. Betty was expecting you,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
I donβt speak.
βWhen you was born, your mam went mad and I ended up buying you from Betty Douglas for ninety-nine quid,β me Uncle Phil says.
βNinety-nine quid?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
βI paid a hundred but got a quid change for some chips for your mam and dadβs tea,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βYou bought me?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
Iβm a little bit sick in me mouth.
βIt was the right thing to do,β me Uncle Phil says to me. βI got Betty Douglas pregnant straight away with Andy.β
βIβm pregnant,β I says to me Uncle Phil. βIβm pregnant with me brotherβs baby,β I says, and then I throws up on me purple carpet.
βYouβre a filthy whore,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βWhat am I going to do?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
βYouβre going to have the baby,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βHave me brotherβs baby?β I asks me Uncle Phil.
βThen Iβm giving it to Betty Douglas to bring up,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βYou what?β I says to me Uncle Phil.
βItβs the right thing to do,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
βI canβtββ I says to me Uncle Phil.
βItβs either that or Iβll make you disappear,β me Uncle Phil says to me.
I donβt speak.
Iβm thinking, theyβre all a bunch of nutters.
99 Reasons WhyΒ is available as a Kindle edition and an iBook edition.
Caroline Smailes is the author ofΒ Like Bees to Honey,Β Black BoxesΒ andΒ In Search of Adam. You can find out more about Caroline and her books on her Author Website, her Blog or by following her on Twitter: @Caroline_S.
Oh yay, you got one of the endings! I wanted to take part but I totally forgot to email the person to get the ending. Bad me! I’m glad to read it on your blog, though, and I can’t wait to read Caroline’s book!
(And thank you for your kind words on my blog. Much appreciated.)
I had a rare organised moment (it’s over now) and emailed when I saw the request! Otherwise, I might not have got around to doing it either, Talli, and I’m probably nowhere near as busy as you are.
(And you’re welcome. I haven’t been over for a visit in a while. It was long overdue.)
What a great idea and what a great ending. I’m off to add that book to my wish list. Thanks for sharing x
Pleasure, Susan. I like that I’m adding to someone else’s TBR pile for a change. Thanks for stopping by!
Caroline is so clever. I can’t wait to read this book.
So many books, so little time to read them, unfortunately. I think I need to book some time off work just to try and catch up with my reading!
I think I need the same, Debs. If only I could take one week off in every four as a reading week or something?
I’m totally in awe of all the organisation and planning that must have gone into this book. Hopefully Caroline is on to a winner here!