Navigate / search

99 Reasons Why by Caroline Smailes

Author Caroline Smailes publishes her new novel today. 99 Reasons Why is a book with a difference. It is only being published as an ebook and comes with 9 different endings which readers can navigate using multiple choice questions on their Kindle or via a spinning story wheel on their iPad or iPhone. There are also two additional endings. One will be handwritten by Caroline and auctioned for charity, the other is being shared here for you to read…

 

99: the reason why I was only worth ninety-nine quid

It’s been six days since the little girl in the pink coat went missing and me Uncle Phil’s in me bedroom.

We’ve been watching the little girl in the pink coat’s mam on the news. She was appealing to the public for witnesses.

‘Didn’t realise she had a mam,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Everyone’s got a mam, pet,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘She sold her story to The Sun,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Got a few quid,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘She wanted nowt to do with that bairn before all this,’ me Uncle Phil says, looking at me telly.

‘Do you know where she is?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Belle?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘She’s safe,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘Your mam’s keeping an eye on her.’

‘Can I be her mam?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘No, pet, you’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Can you make Andy Douglas come back, Uncle Phil?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

Me Uncle Phil shakes his head.

‘I love him,’ I tell me Uncle Phil.

‘Andy Douglas is your brother, pet. You didn’t seriously think Princess Di was your mam, did you?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘You’re a cradle snatcher just like your mam,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Your mam miscarried when she found out I’d been banging Betty Douglas. Betty was expecting you,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

‘When you was born, your mam went mad and I ended up buying you from Betty Douglas for ninety-nine quid,’ me Uncle Phil says.

‘Ninety-nine quid?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘I paid a hundred but got a quid change for some chips for your mam and dad’s tea,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You bought me?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

I’m a little bit sick in me mouth.

‘It was the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘I got Betty Douglas pregnant straight away with Andy.’

‘I’m pregnant,’ I says to me Uncle Phil. ‘I’m pregnant with me brother’s baby,’ I says, and then I throws up on me purple carpet.

‘You’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘What am I going to do?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘You’re going to have the baby,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘Have me brother’s baby?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Then I’m giving it to Betty Douglas to bring up,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You what?’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘I can’t—’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s either that or I’ll make you disappear,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

I’m thinking, they’re all a bunch of nutters.

 

99 Reasons Why is available as a Kindle edition and an iBook edition.

Caroline Smailes is the author of Like Bees to HoneyBlack Boxes and In Search of Adam. You can find out more about Caroline and her books on her Author Website, her Blog or by following her on Twitter: @Caroline_S.

Comments

Talli Roland
Reply

Oh yay, you got one of the endings! I wanted to take part but I totally forgot to email the person to get the ending. Bad me! I’m glad to read it on your blog, though, and I can’t wait to read Caroline’s book!

(And thank you for your kind words on my blog. Much appreciated.)

kath
Reply

I had a rare organised moment (it’s over now) and emailed when I saw the request! Otherwise, I might not have got around to doing it either, Talli, and I’m probably nowhere near as busy as you are.

(And you’re welcome. I haven’t been over for a visit in a while. It was long overdue.)

Susan Mann
Reply

What a great idea and what a great ending. I’m off to add that book to my wish list. Thanks for sharing x

kath
Reply

Pleasure, Susan. I like that I’m adding to someone else’s TBR pile for a change. Thanks for stopping by!

Debs
Reply

Caroline is so clever. I can’t wait to read this book.

So many books, so little time to read them, unfortunately. I think I need to book some time off work just to try and catch up with my reading!

kath
Reply

I think I need the same, Debs. If only I could take one week off in every four as a reading week or something?

Rosalind Adam
Reply

I’m totally in awe of all the organisation and planning that must have gone into this book. Hopefully Caroline is on to a winner here!

Leave a Comment

%d bloggers like this: